You know, wishing won’t make it so, Hoping won’t do it, praying won’t do it
Religion won’t do it, philosophy won’t do it, The supreme court won’t do it,
The president and the congress won’t do it, The UN won’t do it, the H-bomb won’t do it, The sun and the moon won’t do it, And God won’t do it, And I certainly won’t do it
That leaves you, you’ll have to do it
I was a basket case. Emotionally strung out, exhausted, worried, anxious, crying, no one to talk to, and work was backing up. Luckily I could work from home and my employer allowed that. For a while anyway.
Here is an email from my oldest daughter:
Good morning dad. I hope your morning today went a little smoother than the rest of the week has gone, although I realize that’s a slim chance. I just want you to know how much I love you. I know this is so difficult. I can’t even begin to imagine how hard this is for you. Just try to remember that this is just another stage in her recovery and that she is in another time and place right now. So when she is being evil, it’s not directed at you, her husband, but at someone else from her past. And she is taking it out on you because she doesn’t know where she is in time. I think you are such an amazing person. You have taken on this incredibly difficult task. You are WONDERFUL!!!
I love you so much. Try to have a good day. I’ll see you soon.
Yea, I was blessed with good friends and family, but it was still very overwhelming. My sisters would come down about every other weekend. Bake, cook, clean and just visit with me. I appreciated the visit more than anything, but I was still a nervous wreck. I finally made a doctor’s appointment for a physical and just ask him a few questions. To make a long story short he put me on an SSRI. This is what I guess I am trying to say is, I wish I would have gotten on these a year ago.
Not only was I overwhelmed with taking care of my wife, but I was not taking care of myself. I would get sick often, losing weight couldn’t sleep, plus I just did not have the energy or desire to exercise. I even asked friends if I was drinking too much. I wholly recommend talking to your doctor. After getting on the SSRI I slowly started to get my act together again. Not to say that drugs are the way to go, but for me it was a God send. I tend to be a faithful child of God, but I needed a kick in the ass, and the SSRI was it. I know I will not “hopefully” be on these forever, as my wife’s recovery continues.
I am going to keep these blogs fairly light for now so I don’t bore you to death. So for now, take care and we’ll talk later.
Hasta la próxima.