Make Me Smile

I’m so happy that you love me
Life is lovely when you’re near me
Tell me you will stay, make me smile                              
James Pankow

There are days when you are caregiving and you just can’t help crying because you are so happy. Incredible break through days, only “You” will witness. I was getting my wife’s breakfast ready one morning and had a strange feeling. As I walked around the corner of the kitchen to the living room, she had gotten out of her wheelchair and was walking. She was getting ready to sit herself down on the couch. My heart dropped in horror at first, but then realized that my wife is starting to succeed. You have to remember that she has been in a wheelchair for about 8 months now.

From wheelchair to rehab.  From rehab to this. I was so proud of her. Dang, time for a celebration. Let’s go out to Nick and Jakes tonight and get something to eat. I would get her dressed, into her wheelchair and off we would go.

Ah, but she was doing so well, and yet she would cry. So frustrated. All you can do is stay calm, and positive. God will only give you as much as you can handle. No more. No less.

Ten months after her aneurysm, she was starting to understand that something had happened to her. Why am I not at work? I don’t get off until 5pm. What is wrong with me? The only thing I could think of was to have her repeat after me:

  1. I had a Brain Aneurysm.
  2. It was June 1st, 2012
  3. I am still recovering
  4. And I am doing awesome!   Thank you Lord!!!!

We would repeat this 10 times a day it seemed like. Her short term memory was completely gone.

One of the strangest things I remember, not really because I keep a journal, is that we were in the kitchen and she asked me when we were going home.  Now I have been reading and researching Traumatic Brain Injuries and similar and came up with this scenario. I know her very well and this is what I think she was saying. When are we going to heaven with God? I explained to her “not yet”! Let’s watch our children and grandchildren grow and for us to grow old as well. Sometimes I would look her straight in the eye’s to see where she is. I envy her when I do that. She has a certain peace about her.

She truly makes me smile.


Hasta la próxima.

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